cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
