so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's like iHOP with fire
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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