your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
