you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize