I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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