do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
