I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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