my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
