She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
