I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize