Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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