Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We're too hungover to prance.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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