if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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