I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
