I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
