left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize