He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
