I have demons in me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
