I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
