Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
