so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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