I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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