its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
