I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
