she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
