There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
