11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
