I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
