just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
