I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize