I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
