I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize