they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
