do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
