Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize