What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
