evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
from now on my penis is your penis
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
