it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
