It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
