I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
