i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
