his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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