hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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