Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
don't judge my taste in strippers
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
