For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
