It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I skipped work to stalk him.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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