playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
