I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
