Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
