office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize