Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
