I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
