TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
