How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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