I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
