wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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