if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
