I need help removing her.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
